MOTHER FUCKER!

OH MY GOD! as if i didn't have enough stuff to fill my head with fustration.

;~;
pardon my yelling. but its NOT FUCKING FAIR.
we get a new computer. and of course. what happens but its not compatible with my tablet! MY TABLET DOESN"T WORK!

don't get me wrong. it does work. it moves. its configuration is exactly how it should be. but i can't write. or draw. for crap with it now because EVERYTIME i try to make a FUCKING line it will not compute. it will fuck it all up into scribbles. i can't make a fucking line at all most of the time because it's too slow! i don't understand what the hell it's doing. I WANT TO MAKE A FUCKING LINE and what does it give me!? NOTHING

Its not fair. I can't do anything anymroe....it just doesn't fucking work. AAAAAAAAAAGH

i have unfinished projects, and gifts is till have to finish. but can i finish them now? no. because the CHEAP FUCKING SHIT my stepdad bought because he's a CHEAP fucking bastard who keeps about 6 laptops and one spanking new shiny dell all for himself, gives us an emachine that won't work with my tablet.

ITS SO FUCKING FUSTRATING.
im sorry. i feel selfish. Im sorry that i want to draw. god damnit..

im sorry but i needed to rant an no one to rant too.... ignore it.

Requests CLOSED | Art Trade only by my request
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Updates
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Kay, so, I promise i'm starting on my comics. Phantasy Star first.

I started writing myself a refference story to Phantasy Star so i could use it as a script to draw by...
I got up to half of chapter 3. I need to rewrite the prologue after playing the game again, however.

Uhmm Right, so most importantly. I may need a little help.
I need help with a few character/costume designs. I'm having a teeensy bit of trouble. For anyone who has played PSO eps I, II, and III, and are willing to help me with a few things, that would be most wonderful =]

I keep skipping ahead to episode two...I can't focus. Bleh.

I revamped X42's and B17's old designs and they look pretty. X42's hair is no longer gray, but is red and their outfits are just...80% better than they used to be? haha.

Hmm. But yes. I still do need help on some Non playable characters to design. and some outfits. Im so horribly terrible at outfits.

MmmMmMmMmMmMmmm. Other than that there really isn't anything else.
I still need to finish requests and art trades for people..
Im so sorry DDD: i've been so distracted >< >< ><

hrm. hrm.

Fffff. I've been having trouble drawin lately. My skill is lacking. I've been drawing since the womb, yet compared to everyone, i'm crap. All i do is draw, and i'm still such an amateur when there are 10 year olds better than i am. It makes me ashamed of myself.
I need a way to get better ;~;


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Comics
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Phantasy Star
Phantasy Star Episode 1
Phantasy Star Episode 2


Skull Kitty
The Adventures of an Ugly Thing
co/author ~foreverfornever6
[characters wip]

Silver Stars
Seven Sacred Stars plus One


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Avatar by [link]
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...so

...after a long few weeks of stress, depression, paranoia, and a bunch of other crap. I've had somewhat of an...epiphany i guess i could say?

How? All because of a book. My interest in philosophy has lead me to a very interesting and most wonderful book called The Tao of Pooh In which the author, Benjamin Hoff, uses a child's most favorite story book characters from the 100 Acre woods to explain the chinese philosophy of Taoism

It's somewhat explained to be a religion, but more explained as just a way of looking at things. While most find life to be vineger, Taoists find it to be honey.

I found myself in an "eeyore attitude". Even though Eeyore is my favorite Pooh character, its dreadfrul his personality, really. I found it quite sad, then Pooh's personality was explained to me and i realized, all my life i'v been like eeyore when i've always wanted to be like Pooh bear. Carefree, content, and curious. To love life and just go with the flow. I think that is well. And i have been ever since. It's wonderful.

Nothing has bothered me. Im just...going with the flow. I admit thing have gotten in my way to make me sour a few time but then i remember, think like Pooh. It's made me...content.

I like being carefree and effortless, i find i actually get more done this way rather than just going crazy over the simplist thing.


...i am content..
this is nice...

i will delete this later. i just really need to vent because no one else seems to give a crap.

I'm stressed out to the max. I'm depressed. and i'm one hella crappy friend.
I feel left out from my group of friends. even though im there with them and included, i still feel very far away...

i feel that i am at the status of the two outcasts in my classes that nobody seems to like. i feel like i'm being pushed to them now. maybe i'm just being paranoid....

This is what is really bothering me lately. I realized this while sitting with another classmate last night at an open house and me and her have been in the same classes for the past three years and due to my academy, we spend lots of time with eachother and everyone. it felt awkard.
i always feel that way. because its always silent. i neve rhave anything to say because there is nothing ever on my mind but a song that keeps repeating itself. it is quite fustrating. i want to talk to others but i cannot. therefore, i feel like an outcast.

i am not an interesting person. im probably one of the least interesting of the bunch. for they are the only ones i spend my time with because i have no other friends. because im such a crappy one.

i rarely ever talk to the person i call my best friend. and now that she has a girlfriend, and according to two others, its seems less likely. and another ive not talked to in months....others i have lost...

...im socially retarded.
and i hate who i am...

lovely.

My god. So i was watching National Geograpic, cause it had something bout astronomy, and that's seriously a huge thing for me. I love space. So i missed the first part of it but whatever, it really wasn't important. But lemme tell you i learned one hell of a lot about space. I didn't actually think that there were actual planets lightyears away from us. derp
Shows you how long it's been since i've studied astronomy. LOL 6th grade anyone!?

But yeah, i learned there was this planet called Osiris, which is a Jupiter planet, meaning it's almost a sun. Osiris is more developed that Jupiter tho, it's atmosphere is pretty much non existent so it's gas leaks into Space. It also travels close the it's sun so it's like 1000 degrees up there.

anyway. It was mad inspiring let me tell you.
I learned about Super Earths gave me ideas man. And i want to use it, but we'll see what happens about that.

I love space. So much. I'm deffinately taking an astronomy class next year, if they let me. Stupid art school.
I think my favorite thing was the YO YO planet with the Earth Moon and it's ridiculous seasons.

SO BESIDES ME BORING YOU!
Uhm. As far as comics go I really don't have any idea what im doing at the moment. I've kind of been having....problems...with real life at the current moment so it's not been so easily focusable.

Hm. I start school on the 8th. I kind of want to go back. But first i need to finish my summer project. God i can't wait til I'm done with those. one more year. hell yeah.

Better than research papers.

Hmm. I'm looking for good music to listen to to inspire me to draw. It's not really working cause the type of music i listen too isn't exactly drawing inspiring. It's more, i want to rave/mosh/ska type of music... go me
haha.

Uhm. I've not much to say.

I can't focus lately. it's been troublesome idk wat to do.
I need like, meds or something, but i also have really bad reaction to meds..so that's kind of bad. I need to focus tho. This sucks. I always wondered 'Why would anyone wanna take ADD medication!?'
now i know.

HmHmHmHmHmHmHmHmHmHm

THANK YOU FOR READING SUCH CRAP 8D